Monday, 19 April 2010


so i'm really struggling with the rules about masturbation and orgasms. i think there's a lot of things contributing to this. i've tried to compile a list to help me understand:

  •  i suffer from insommnia (at times chronic) and i have often used masturbation as a way of relaxing myself.
  • i have a high sex drive and i think that masturbating kinda helped me control this as since it's been restricted i'm feeling a lot more sexual frustration.
  • D's sex drive is (certainly in current practical terms) quite a bit lower than mine.
  • things are particularly stressful at the moment so i guess maybe i'm feeling the need for release more.
  • the times when i have failed and broken rules D doesn't really seem bothered - He's certainly not really done anything more than laugh at me.- this is true for touching myself without permission and cumming without permission both on my own and during sex/play.
so last night i was trying to be good and not touch myself in bed, we were both extremely tired but i just couldn't get to sleep and was finding it frustrating. D decided to try something new and had me loosely hold Him while He rested His hand over my mound and clit. 

Immediately i was on fire and desperate. He persisted, He told me i needed to learn to break the habit. i argued that breaking the habit was one thing but making it even harder for me to sleep was another. He stuck to His guns though and insisted that i would have to get used to it as He would do it every night this week.

i managed to bite my tongue and try to accept but the crazy pent up energy was still there so i was lying there trying to keep quiet whilst squirming and fidgeting to try to find a way to release a bit of the energy and be able to sleep.

He kept me like this for half an hour, He comforted me when i was nearly in tears, 

and then He made me cum and wouldn't let me stop...

already today though i feel out of control with it again *sigh* i wish i was better at it. 


  1. I know the feeling oh so very well:)

    The new site is going well and I hope its helped you too with more traffic; would you mind putting it in your blog list please to help spread the word?

    Thank you:)

    Take care and hope you enjoy trying to break your habit!


  2. Hiya,

    Thanks so very much for putting such a great link at your site, I will make sure I get you Featured Blog in the next few days as a thank you:)

    Take care:)

    Luv and kisses