breaking down

i had what i can only really describe as an anxiety attack last night. i think it was a culmination of a few things including the effect of the way D is dealing with some major work stress that has been rendering me submitting to a brick wall, some hormonal resettling from having had an IUS fitted, being slightly under the weather and it now being over a year since i had an unbroken night's sleep (ah the joys of parenting!). 
i've been so worried about D- and particularly the way He's been retreating from me as  a way of dealing with the stress. Last night though we had what felt like a major breakthrough- it's almost as though my body then knew that it needed to break down because as horrible as it was and weak as i feel now, D is back in charge. He's nurturing me and supporting me and i feel like He's 'there' again. If i was able to help Him and *us* then it was totally worth it. 


Feel kinda wiped now though.