i'm feeling angry and betrayed. We talk and talk and talk about the ways we want to change things. About How we both want to use D/s to improve our communication as a key benefit.
But when it comes down to it. When He's not happy about something. He still shuts me out. i can honestly say right now that i'd rather take any sort of punishment than this. Even if He told me that my punishment was not getting His attention- that would still feel different and at least i'd know WHY!!!!!!!!!
eek! sorry for the vent--- have been holding alot in this evening!
Posts
You don't have to say you're sorry for venting. I think it's better than holding things in.
ReplyDeleteAnd good luck in getting back on the same page with him.
FD
Are you sure he's punishing you? He may just be having an inner struggle of his own regarding his dominance (or something completely unrelated), and well men deal with their inner struggles by pulling inward. It seems like they're pulling away from us when they're really not.
ReplyDeleteI've found the best way to deal with it when they do this is to ask if something is wrong. If they say no, then just let them know that you're there if they need to talk. Don't try to pressure them to open up... that tends to put them on the defensive and make them angry. Like I said... men process things differently. Also let him know you need reassurance that his pulling away is not over something you have or haven't done. That will make it easier to cope when he gets like this.
*hugs*
spirited
I agree with spirited one. There have been times when it seems to me that he is pulling away or ignoring me which then leads me to believe I did somethig wrong, but it ends up its somethig of his own. Then he reminds me that whenever I have done somethig wrong he will tell me not ignore me. It has taken time for me to trust that, but I do now. (after many experiences) yet I do know it can be frustratig to say the least.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the reassurances and understanding. I'm sorry i didn't reply sooner but we've been busy as well as dealing with this. We've talked alot and D has explained thay He made that decision because He was aware that He was taking other things out on me - He feels this is actually progress to have had this awareness. i feel that it still would have bee good for Him to at least explain this to me.
ReplyDeleteAt least we're communicating again now though.