what do you do if He deals with something in a way that You feel is wrong and leaves you feeling hurt and rejected?
i ended up being sent to bed because of the way i was speaking last night. i can see that i was being disrespectful but i just felt so hurt and He seemed to be ignoring that.
We've still not resolved things and this morning i felt like i was just going through the motions of the rituals i observe over breakfast etc.
i feel very hurt and confused. Part of me is obsessing over Him being 'in the wrong' and the hurt feeling are making my stubbornness come out. The other part of me feels that i need to cede for the 'greater good' of what we are trying to do because otherwise i'm undermining Him. i don't know how to do this though. How do i let go of the hurt- in the past i guess i've always held onto it until He apologised and i decided He'd made up for it. i don't want it to be like that anymore but i don't know what else to do. Sending me to bed only made me feel more hurt and shut off from Him than the original issue had already done.
so confused.
Posts
I would say that if you're feeling hurt the issue needs to be discussed, although when you're feeling emotional sometimes it's hard to be rational. I always find at times like that, it works better to write about what I'm feeling. That way I can say what I need to without losing my temper or being disrespectful.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a good idea to suck it up and pretend it never happened though. That will cause resentments and with it a lot more problems.
spirited
Thank you spirited. i've actually just read an email from D while He's at work- He's said very similar things to what you have written and i feel a bit reassured. He's also identified some underlying problems that are affecting Him so i think we'll get there. Phew, what a steep learning curve this is! Worth it though right?
ReplyDeletes
Oh yes it's happened to me. Frequently...lol. Sometimes just the act of writing and talking it through completely is what you need. Like sometimes kids just need to get their story out before they move on, we do too.
ReplyDeletehugs,
mouse
It's definitely worth it... if nothing else this lifestyle will certainly help the two of you really get to know each other on a level most married couples can only dream about. It's really amazing.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
spirited
Thank You both so much- it's so comforting to hear from you. We talked quite a lot last night- there's a lot of outside issues affecting us right now but i think we're getting through.
ReplyDeleteIt still feels worthwhile even when it's hard.
s
Dear D's s,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're feeling better about things and especially that you talked. KayLynn