ok i've managed to bore myself with my self-pitying posts so am going for something more upbeat today.
Since we've started down this road, i keep looking back at things in a new light. Seeing new explanations for things so i thought i'd start a list. Is there such a thing as a submssive 'type'? Elements of our personalities that now with hindsight seem to be related to the fact that we're submissive? Here are my first thought, please feel very welcome to comment and add your own (although keep them nice eh?)
1. A very high, almost insatiable sex drive (maybe with extreme dips?).
2. Eager to please - inability to say 'NO'
3. Pre-discovery over defensiveness- like the submissive desire when repressed actually creates a control freak?
4. Desire to better oneself - i'm deliberately phrasing this as being distinct from low self-esteem.
5. 'researcher' - likes to be fully informed about anything they do- probably makes regular use of mr Google.
that's all I have so far. Can you add to it?
Hopeless Dom
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I am pretty hopeless at being a dom in some senses, I think I haave got to
grips with the basics of the kinky sex which I was interested in and
physicall...
13 years ago
Posts
Hmmm... that's a good question. But I'm not sure if I know the answer. We're all so different. Of the characteristics that define me as a submissive, I'm sure you could find plenty of subs who show the opposite and are just as submissive.
ReplyDeleteA desire to please I definitely agree with - but then doesn't that fit into a larger sense of a desire to submit?
And the sex drive thing I agree with too, but then I think that is chicken and egg. If you have a high sex drive, you're more likely to experiment, learn what you like, try kinky things, etc...
I think on your point 3, that resonates with me and I've read similar from others. I think I was unconsciously resentful of partners that didn't dominate me, before I knew that was what I wanted. But beyond that, I can't stand uncertainty. If I'm not told what to do, I'll sieze control so at least there isn't any doubt. I'm not the most comfortable like that, but it's better than a grey area, if that makes any sense!
I'm not too sure about the researcher point... there are probably plenty of non-internet using subs. We probably just don't know about them.
Thanks for the interesting post though - made me ponder...
J- i imagine there probably isn't an answer hee hee. i was just postulating based on what i'm learning about myself really. i think you're write about the chicken and egg thing- alot of these things do fit into the bigger picture of submission and/or kinkiness- i'm just finding it interesting as they're things that i was aware of before but am now seeing in a bit of a different light.
ReplyDeleteoh btw i thought of another one
#6 Prefer to cook using a recipe as a starting point. Much more comfortable to experiment with this securuty!